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January 08, 2021

Your New Year’s celebration may not have been as happy as everyone else’s. You have recently divorced and going through the holiday served only as a reminder that you will begin this year without a family. Or, it may be the first-year anniversary of your divorce, which can be just as painful and hard to deal with. 

Feelings of anger, anxiety, disappointment, and frustration are a natural result of a divorce. But at some point, you will need to find a way to come to terms with what has happened. You can make this new year a new opportunity for the rebuilding and rebirth of your life. 

Here are some tips for a happier new year after the divorce: 

1. Let go of resentment 

This is, of course, easier said then done. If your marriage ended because of the unfaithfulness and betrayal of your spouse, it will be hard to let go of the most intense feelings of resentment toward them. Resentment is a mixture of pain and anger, regret and sorrow, frustration, and disappointment. Every time you think of what you put into the marriage versus what your ex did, you will experience a flare-up of resentment. If allowed to continue, this emotion will consume you. It will make it hard for you to build new relationships—both the intimate and friendly kind. 

You should make a pledge to yourself that you will find a way to let go of it. This may require you to see a specialist or lean on a friend that you know and trust. The bottom line is that you must leave the resentment behind in the new year if you are to embrace the opportunities that it may present. 

2. Out with the old and in with the new 

Many divorced people stick with old practices and routines as a matter of habit. In many cases, they do not give a second thought about carrying on with their life as though they were still married. You should make an effort to break this cycle. The best way to rid yourself of divorce-related thoughts is to cease the routines of your married life. 

You should embrace the “new” in the new year and find other things to do. Mix it up a bit, and you will start to have new thoughts about yourself and your life. 

3. Find the time to be happy again 

It is important to acknowledge your anger, grief, and sadness. But this time must come to an end at some point. You should then make time to be happy again. This may sound trite, but it will be very tempting to mask your fear of getting on with life in work and other forms of busyness. You should carve out time for yourself. You should find things that make you happy and pursue them. 

This is a process, but the sooner you begin it the sooner you will begin to feel better. 

Unfinished Business 

You may need to rebuild your life while still settling unfinished business in your divorce. You should always do so with the help and advice of a Pleasanton CA family law attorney. If you are still haggling over the details of your marriage estate, a Pleasanton CA divorce attorney will ensure that you are treated fairly and that your interests are looked after. The same goes for your parental rights. If you felt that you were unfairly deprived of spending time with your kids during the holidays, then you should start negotiations now to change the holiday schedule for the coming year. Your divorce attorney Pleasanton CA will advise you on what is feasible. A Pleasanton CA divorce lawyer will ensure that you make the strongest case possible for the change. 

If you are still dealing with the business of the divorce, then you should speak to a divorce attorney in Pleasanton CA at the Tierney Law Group. A divorce attorney Pleasanton CA can lay out your options.