Divorce is one of the hardest things to get through. It is especially hard during the holidays. If this is your first Christmas season since the divorce, it is natural to experience feelings of anxiety, sadness, and loneliness. The best way to get through the season with your dignity and mental health is to plan for it.
Be Realistic About the Consequences of the Divorce
For any of the forthcoming advice to be effective, you must first confront the reality of the divorce. If you have children with your ex, then you are still a parent to them. But you no longer have a family of your own. The sooner you realize that you cannot imitate the celebrations you are used to having at Christmas the more prepared you will be to create a new routine. Seasonal events can be demanding. You will need to attend holiday parties, engage in gift exchanges, and attend your children’s plays. All of this will stir your emotions. But you must find ways of getting through the holiday schedule on your own terms.
Here are a few tips to help you get through the holidays:
1. Prepare the parenting schedule and respect it
How you and your ex share the kids during the holidays should have already been settled by your Pleasanton divorce lawyers. You should take practical steps to ensure that the logistics of moving your kids back and forth has been worked out. Transportation, drop-off and pick-up times, etc. should be set. This will reduce your stress and the strain on your children. It will also prevent you from having to call Pleasanton CA divorce lawyers to resolve a dispute.
You should also respect your ex-spouse’s right to spend time with the kids. Unwarranted interruptions and last-minute changes should be kept to a minimum. Quality time with both parents is good for your children.
2. Do not try to tough it out alone
The holiday season is no time to be alone. You can both acknowledge your feelings and allow your friends and family to be there for you. It is probably best to avoid socializing with friends that you and your ex have in common. You should instead spend time with old friends—people you knew before your marriage.
You should also arrange to spend Christmas Day with relatives. It is good to be surrounded by people who love you on this day especially.
3. Create new traditions
You are single again. You should confront that fact head on. Rather than following the traditions of your married life you should create new traditions. Again, you need not do this alone. You can get together with your oldest and closest friends and find enjoyable things to do together.
4. Focus on your kids
Spending time with your kids is important during the holidays. Although you should not pour out every emotion that you feel on them, you can show them that they are loved no matter what. You should give them a sense of security and stability. However, you should not try to out-gift your ex. Children can sense when a parent is trying to buy their affection with extravagant gifts. Being attentive and warm will create the kind of emotional presence that is much more important to kids than lavish gifts.
If There is Conflict
You may do your utmost to be reasonable and civil. However, if you encounter difficulty with your ex, then you may need to get Pleasanton CA divorce attorneys involved. You should try to work out any conflict with your ex without involving divorce attorneys in Pleasanton CA, but if this is impossible, then you must take the action necessary to protect your rights.